I've shifted my blog...time for a breath of change. Visit me at http://seven-soulstices.blogspot.com

Nash

Ahhhh...I'm back after being cloistered from the world for three days!

Oh man I can't type properly...my fingers after just a short period of three days have lost their ability to type in a sequential manner. Oh well who the hell cares. I swear that one day if I retire comfortably, I'll just migrate out of Singapore and live in a kampung (or any equivalent to it in any country) and just live the remaining of my days there. Who cares if it is isolated from the modern world...in fact all the better. I miss the rendang soup made by my granny---peppery and thick, almost gravy like(though I didn't eat the mutton) but its an absolute delight for the cold nights! Of course there's the barbecue, sitting in front of the dancing embers and grilling countless steaks (homemade gravy sauce just rocks to the bottom!) And at night the sky is so clear that you can just see so many stars when you lie on the garden patch that if you block out all other lights, the whole sky is just exactly satin with diamonds (cliche I know, but nevertheless the most accurate I can find) And gosh! The people! There has to be at least 200 people there! I didn't know at this age I'm already a Granduncle...sheesh thats real old but haha, it feels damn good to be carrying my grandnephew in my arms...thats not a common experience you get when you are 16 and young! Anyway babies are very fragile and all and you have to basically support each and every part of their body so that they don't loll backwards or anything like that. All is part and parcel of my 'Learn to be a Granduncle in 30 seconds module)...cool right? Anyway we set off real firecrackers like those at Chinatown where they hang it right out of everyone's reach...its like the laughter of the Thunder God! Oh yes...and 742 rinngit worth of fireworks were set off in 17 seconds, but mind you they are quality fireworks like those at National Day! Wha hahahahaha...anyway I was trembling when I set off the firecrackers while evreyone noted the quivering joss stick in my hand---so paiseh but never mind it was a fab experience! Anyway weaving in and out of the crowd, mixing around with cousins and all...pure indulgence. Oh yes and I drank beer mixed with Coke and my face was real red in like ten minutes...ah haha but they say that besides the low tolerance level, they say I have a healthy circulation system...to think that i have to wait until next year to enjoy this company again! Sigh...

Anyway it doesn't mean that being in a kampung is gonna stop me from watching the finale of the Amazing race, especially when Kris and Jon are in there! Oh man...they were just 5 minutes behind the winners (for sake of integrity I shall not even mention their names) So that means, if you discount the fact that they were held up by this ridiculously slow and long train, they would have won the Amazing race, which should rightfully be since they have a much more consistent report than the winners. Also, consider that they have to catch up for a 15 minute defecit would hence prove that they are naturally better racers. ALSO, they have a better soul and heart then those two mindless creeps...one commenting that Senegal is a 'third world gretto' while the other threatening to kill the mysterious culprit who dropped a gate on his forehead (oh I hope it gave him a good knock on the head for being such an ass) Kris and Jon on the other hand, according to interviews and other racers are truly decent people (thankfully not to media edits, if not I'll die), and there are consistently many testimonials for it, like swimming with the Senegal kids and also having an extremely long fuse for both. Oh well, I think they gained more from this Race then what the bratty winners did, they may have won a compratively smaller sum of money but they have gained confirmation of their love for each other and the respect of many viewers across the world (me included!) So yes, I'm still suffering from the Kris and Jon Withdrawal Symptoms and I'm not gonna support anyone in the next Race. So be it.

Oh wow, this turn out to be much longer than the paragraph I intended it to be. Never mind then. Look out for my new blog coming soon!

Nash

Ahhhh...its just a few days away!

Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you want my future forget my past,
If you wanna get with me better make it fast,
Now don't go wasting my precious time,
Get your act together we could be just fine

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

What do you think about that now you know how I feel,
Say you can handle my love are you for real,
I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try
If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye.

Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

So here's a story from A to Z, you wanna get with me
you gotta listen carefully,
We got Em in the place who likes it in your face,
we got G like MC who likes it on an
Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady,
and as for me..ah you'll see,
Slam your body down and wind it all around
Slam your body down and wind it all around.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta, you gotta, you
gotta,
you gotta, you gotta, slam, slam, slam, slam
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down and wind it all around.

They were both in the dark,
She lied about her age,
The young Coldstream guard
About his experience.
While he took her to pieces
Slowly, she watched a spider's web
As it shone in the sun
Like a long playing record.
Laid out in the grass,
Her shrivelled thights, the wings
Of her nylon bra. Virgins.
She thought about, yes,
The Hokey Pokey
And wanted to laugh...

Six months later, the weather
Turned conveniently cold---
A coat was possible indoors.
All the mirrors grew convex,
She fingered the globe
In its pregnant question mark.
Her father's miniatures
Were little models of perfection---
The Vatican, St Paul's
Westminster Abbey and Cathedral,
All made from Safety Matches.
He chopped their busbies off
With a tiny grunt,
As if he knew...

The brown aspirin bottle
Held a genie of cotton wool
And five hundred bitter wishes.
Counting carefully,
She vomited at the forty first.
A week. Another week.
She felt the pain of liver
Writhing on the pan,
Turned off the gas and crawled,
Past an infinity of stair rods.
God danced on his cross
At the foot of her bed
Like Nijinsky having a heart attack...

Brought by the police, her father
Listened in his dressing gown.
She wouldn't come out of the river
Or give up the shoe-box
Under her arm. Headlights,

Just returned home and I am dead beat---JC life is strenous and damn, I haven't even proceeded on to JC2 life yet! Crappy..anyway yesterday one quarter of my class didn't turn up for school. I'm suspecting something fishy going on and that they are skiving off: if only I can muster the courage to do that. Anything for a good rest and plenty of sleep. Oh well, Chinese New Year is just around the corner and I am eagerly awaiting its arrival. Just imagining sleeping until one in the afternoon...the thought is outrageously luring...oh well I can just dream some more.

Talking of Chinese New Year, the Arts Faculty is supposed to decorate the canteen but some how or another the red lanterns and the crimson sashes are sorely missing. I can still remember the days when my secondary school class would be in a great fervour: everyone chipping in one way or another to decorate the class. (Unless I'm much mistaken we oftenly win) So yes, Sam Jo has asked me to help out...and I'm much inclined to, unless I'm inundated by fatigue. Arts faculty need the help anyway: Bernasty looks like she has not slept in days. Poor sheep! =) So if they need help, come find me...I'm available to render any kind of service.

Tomorrow is Hotel Rwanda...I am too tired to go, and it would require money! I'm saving up so that I have reserves for the Second Orientation...its a costly event (look at how much my OGLs spend). I got recruited as one of the five candidates! Woopie! All hyped up and ready to do my best...but Mozzie warned me that my enthuiasm might be unrewarded. That I leave to teh hands of God...I just hope that all my OG members will go and stick together. Go A'pstraphi!

Amazing Race coming soon...got to pop! Anyway, its been long since I posted a song, and so here goes.

"Fly"

Any moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of your yesterday.

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,

Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

All your worries, leave them somewhere else,
Find a dream you can follow,
Reach for something, when there's nothing left,
And the world's feeling hollow.

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,

Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

And when you're down and feel alone,
Just want to run away,
Trust yourself and don't give up,
You know you better than anyone else,

Any moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of yesterday,

Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try,
Fly
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

Any moment, everything can change

Another day has just passed by, with me ignorant to its passage. I barely made it out of PE today, but thankfully I managed to pull through. Sheesh…and I have fencing tomorrow! What to do? Sigh.

 

The news broke out to me today…they are picking people to be OGLs! I was so excited when I heard that and I was simply bursting with enthusiasm about the idea! Gosh….I want to join it so badly, even though I was putting on a cool and collected façade in front of my OG…it will be so fun! Even if you remove all the incentives attached to it, I’m still up and ready to go for it. Just imagine---given a second chance to return to the days of Orientation and dancing the Shazeea again! Just the thought of dancing makes me tingle with exhilaration! Aaaarrrggghhh…anything to return to the days of Orientation! Anything! Mozzie and Bernasty really inspired to become an OGL and touch the academic lives of the other students…its just so amazing. Astounding! Gosh…I’m losing my head over this…keep calm…keep cool. Aaarrgghhh…yet how can I keep this excitement down?

 

By the way, my whole class signed up for the Chingay thingy…haha! I’m hoping it’s a class event, and we get to publicize it in front of National Television! Woohoo…I just can’t keep all this joyous feelings down… =)

Nash

Gosh...I think I am seriously sick, and there is not a single trace of humor attached to it. I woke up to dizzy spells and profuse night sweat, and as I made my lunge to the toilet to barf the leftovers of my dinner. So yes, my stomach feels like it has been wrenched from my body and turned out like a cheveril glove while it takes every ounce of my energy to keep my eyelids up. My mum tried to stop me from going to school, but I insisted and being the academic intellectual she gave up without much protest (well at least she didn't see me barfing a second time).

So yes, I'm killing my corporeal cadaver off when I lugged this carcass to school. Some people commented, 'Wow Nash, you look ashen. What's with the lips?' I could manage only a weak smile but left silently wondering about the part of the lips. So yes, I discovered what they meant when I popped to the toilet to take a leak. Sheesh...it was in a tinge of purple. So yes, to amplify the damage, I had to have physical education. As Kendra, 'My stomach was in knots when I was running...', I felt that mine was scrunching up. God...three rounds have never felt so long in my life. Obviously there are the additional rounds after the conditioning and all, but all the recesses of my energy was used to hold back the stuff that was threatening to come out again. So yes, excruiating torture, holding back barf is not exactly my idea of fun.

Somehow or another I managed to survive the mundane academics of the day's lessons (including the horrendous Maths test) and yes I tried to stuff my self with something before I go home to supply my revenues of energy. I confess then that I overslept in the train and it was till Pasir Ris that I found that I had overshot...felt pretty much like an ass then. Luckily no one saw me in my moment of folly...an echo of the fool in all of us. Thankfully I wasn't drooling though---that would be downright sinful.

I am extremely tired today…I guess the academic school life has taken its toll on me. Right now my mind is an affliction and my body feels like it is 70 years old instead of 17. God…even taking an afternoon nap did not help salvage this wreck from its state. So yes, I spent today popping my neck and stretching my arms, trying to work the kinks in this premature cadaver.

 

As usual, I am rambling aimlessly with no specific intent in my mind. What am I trying to prove? Nothing. But even nothing is something. Everything must be something. No one seems to understand that anymore. But never mind. I still remember that free verse poem I wrote that day when some others are crafting out the DF script (emphasis: trying). Not that it matters to me…I was just sitting by myself, doodling some random thoughts onto paper, putting substantiality into intangibility. And though you all are still with me, I’ve been alone all the while. Whatever. Random thoughts. Sinking into depression…and as Moses said, I shouldn’t let my blog become depression center. 

 

My oldest friends are becoming distant…some say that they don’t know what to feel when arranging for a reunion. Some people get caught up with their new acquaintances that they forget the old ones. Are they discarded like unwanted pieces of trash? I have no answers…I don’t pretend in the slightest that I know them. So much for the saying, ‘Time will tell’ Quoted form Bernice, ‘…hyperbolic nostalgia…’ Sharp, but true. More often then not we tend to exaggerate the memories of old bonds, yet how often do we really contemplate their worth? Silence. That of pressurized good breeding. As I sit alone tonight, I wish that you people were back by my side. Sam Jo, Alan, Cheng Chai, Jonathan, Zheng Yi, Glen, Jared and even Ryan Su to some extent. I miss you people. Please don’t make your exodus from my life.

 

So…once again I am feeling cheated. I put my name down for the UN Conference but I didn’t get called! Why is it that these things are happening to me? Sam Jo said, ‘Anyway Its no point, I don’t think you can match up to those people. They are either top debaters or have prior experience and excellent grasp of current affairs.’ Ah…blunt and straightforward. I can’t say that I am not affected by these words. Who gave them the experience in the first place? Someone who had more experience than them. Does it mean that I don’t talk I don’t have an idea of what’s happening around the world?  Silence does not measure up to ignorance. Never mind. I’ve sworn to rise above these petty issues. Goodbye to you, the Kim Kyung Ah part of me. If you can’t draw the parallel, never mind. It’s perfectly normal.

 

Running in a hamster wheel, with no end in sight, no purpose in Life. Sigh…how come I’m taking Moses’s path? Someone pull me out.

 

Nash