Groan...my thighs hurt like hell. Fencing is undoubtedly fun (and I say that with all the sincerity of my heart), but the aftermath is horrid. The muscles in my thights are stretched beyond their limit...its worn out now. But gosh, I guess thats a small price you pay for fencing's fun and the excitement it gives you! =)

Just yesterday I had my first touch at fencing, and I already get to fence in full gear! Woohoo! =) Due to the poor turnout at the unplanned Fencing Clinic, the J1s got a 5 to 1 coaching from the J2s, so I'm kinda surrounded by 5 guys who all try to recruit me to their weapons (foil, epee and sabre). Its all so cool! I like the combination of speed and grace of the foil, the amalgamation of intelligence and strength for the epee and the explosive nature of the sabre. After learning basic moves like the en guarde position, stepping forward and backwards and finally lunging (which is more complicated then it looks), I got to my first fencing session! They dressed me up in the whole competiton suit, which involves a underlayer that is worn over the torso (to prevent the sword from impaling your armpit and killing you by piercing your heart), then an outer layer so thick that when you strap up, you feel that you can't breathe! Then they fit this rather heavy mesh over your face, which kind of adds to the suffocation thinggy, but heck with it. Its so exciting! They assigned me to a J2 which I'm apprehensive even when he flashed me an encouraging smile (please lor, he's eons better then me) but I was like going wobbly in the knees. What if he give me a through run over with the business end of his epee? God...anyway it was so obvious that he opened his defences for me. Besides some half hearted parrying he only attacked a few times, and gave me chance to practise lunging at him. Even when I lost they declared it a flaw (gosh thats so embarrassing) and the J2 let me win him. He was real nice about it and shook my hand and all (I was really inspired by his sportinss to play on), and I felt that fencing people are real decent...at least those that I have met (and its like 11). Wonderful experience! I might just join fencing.

Second experience of today, though less enjoyable, was archery. Today was the trials and I saw Lee Hsien Long's son! He's the Chairperson of the CCA and I must say he is a chip off the block. Anyway we got to pull a recurve bow and shoot a target 10 metres away (somewhere there I suppose). Anyway, yes I am going to bitch about how I got cheated (I'm real whiny when i come to this kinda stuff). So yes, I was going fine with my new style of aiming (and it got me into the yellow region okay) when this J2 came over to me and tell me to use the rubber band that was strapped onto the bow as a reference. So, I thought I could improve my aim if I listened to the J2 right? Anyone in the right mind would think that as well, no? So I obeyed, and the next shot hits the blue region. Oh dumb...anyway I questioned and he insisted that he is correct. So I did that, and this time it got me the blue region again. S***y...I decided to ask someone better (namely the PM's son), and he told me that the rubber band is useless, and proceeded to shift the rubber band up and down the arms of the bow. Crappy...anyway the coach still asked my name, so I don't know whether that means anything. Hope it does...I want an actual CCA that I am good at!

Anyway I am no longer in the cast section of DF, rather I am in the crew part. I must confess that I think that the script is female orientated, which tends to oversee the meritocratic part of DF (only one girl didn't get in and most of the guys got cut), but I've shifted to crew. Whats wrong to be in charge of lighting and music? Is it in the slightest unglam? I don't think so....in fact I think its just as important. But apparently some people take it bitterly that they are not chosen from how good they are, but rather by their gender. I can see where they are coming from...and I can truly empahtize with them because me myself have felt a fleeting moment of disappointment. But please, these people, do try and get over it. DF is riddled with politics, and I am feeling the sense of deja vu again as the past creeps up on me, but this time, be it the Hand of God or not, He has withdrawn me from all this mess to look from afar, and I am extrememly thankful. Don't think I can survive the politics...but I pray that the DF cast and crew will hold on tight and not let internal conflict rip them apart.

Nothing left to say...Life has been a bit darker this week, but I guess it'll pass. Hope Kris and Jon win the Amazing Race! Anyway, here's a little exercise. Let the heels of your feet touch each other and open them in a perpendicualr manner. Take a step forward for the right leg. Do a half squat in that leg position and stick your right hand slightly forward. Hold your other hand limp and voila! You are in the en guarde position! Thats the easy part. Stand like that for 10 minutes.

Nash 

Here I am again, after stoning through Silas Marner and having started on Othello (gosh the English is like incomprehensible), and for lack of better things to do, I've come to complain about life as I always do (such a mundane avenue instead of praying, but gosh, its does wonders and make you feel lots better in Flesh).

Being on an extravagant spree today, which I confess to be rarely the case, being the miser that I am and proud member of the Qiulian faction, I went shopping with my sister. We roamed around after watching Phantom of the Opera (oh gosh that was absolutely brillant; didn't regret a second of it) and we happened to chance upon a digital camera. We've been itching to get one anyway, so feeling the temptation of the sleek metallic surface along our palms, we split the cost and bought the camera! 5 megapixels! Gosh, what extravagance! Ahhhhhh...but what you are not born with, you cannot take to the grave, no? So with that notion in mind...yes, I sinfull spent more money on a new handphone, considering that I am the only one who walks around with a black and white phone anyway. Yet this little nagging voice at the back of my head warn me to keep some for rainy days, so yes, I've heed its advice and purchased a humble Nokia 3120, not flashy, no camera, but colored, and yes, extremely sturdy and reliable. Comsidering that my fingers are made of butter, sturdy phones are a pre-requisite for me. Oh well, I suggested watching Elektra while we are at it, since we rarely get to go out together, but she said she was tired and wanted to go to HMV before we went home, and so as the habit always goes, we spent at least an hour there. I proceeded to get a haircut...gosh it is horrid. My previous unruly mop of hair (which Bernasty thinks is a wig) is now cropped short! Like some commando or the sorts...sucky! I guess it has to be a fashion statement now -bleargh-

The Phantom of the Opera

Christine:
In sleep he sang to me
In dreams he came
That voice which calls to me
And speaks my name
And do I dream again?
For now I find
The phantom of the opera is there,
Inside my mind

Phantom:
Sing once again with me
Our strange duet
My power over you
Grows stronger yet
And though you turn from me
to glance behind
The phantom of the opera is there
Inside your mind

Christine:
Those who have seen your face
Draw back in fear
I am the mask you wear

Phantom:
It's me they hear

Both:
My/Your spirit and my/your voice
In one combined
The phantom of the opera is there
inside my/your mind

Chorus:
Is that the phantom of the opera?
Beware the phantom of the opera

Phantom:
In all your fantasies you always knew
That man and mystery

Christine:
Were both in you

Both:
And in this labrinth
Where night is blind
The Phantom of the opera is here/there

Christine:
Inside my mind

Phantom:
Sing, my Angel of Music!

Christine
He's there,
the Phantom of the Opera . .

Nash

Oh righty then, now I am feeling a bit gulity for being a perfect bitch when I saw Alan's senior at the Guitar booth just now...whoever you are, if you ever chance upon this blog, well I'm sorry, but yeah, I'm a bit sceptical at times when the moon works it effect on me...tis' not that time of the month to moon with me.

Anyway I have never seen this poor guy before, but he was real friendly and I just bitched him. Apparently they were giving out small balloons with these messages tied to them (in actual fact I think they are rather cute but I just put on some airs you know, for the sake of mocking), so yeah I was pretty curious to find out what the message read. So I was trying to pry the message from the ballon and from Alan's hands when the guy spoke up, and I must emphasize that he was the antagonist, 'Don't fight over the balloon bbboooysss...', with a hint of mockery in his voice. Naturally being the Kim Kyung Ah that I am, I shot back 'Yeesssss Grandma...' The problematic thing is that someone sniped 'Shut up!' at him as well, and I SWEAR its not me (I'm not that bitchy)...whoever that person was, I'll find him and hang him, because it blended in with my sentence to sound 'Shut up, Grandma' so yes, I am now the centre of persecution. But even without the shut up, I am still real horrid, and the way the guy stared back speechlessly was just soooo...like a sheep caught in the headlights. Its like he is thinking, 'I finally found my match!' or something like that.

Ah well, what is said cannot be swallowed.

Boredom spawns itself in the wierdist time and places...and this time it is not it. How can anyone remain interested when you are trying to crack your head over questions like 'The Uprising in these two states partly led to the Truman Doctine.' o which country is it? I have no idea at all, while probably someone in my class can come up with the answer before you can even go 'HUH?'. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really in the right class...they are all so clever! There is this inferiorlty complex at work here...I shall promise myself to catch up.

Anyway I had my first taste of my History teacher, and for secrecy’s sake, we shall hereby define him as Brinjal, for obvious purposes since he always wears purple and is so fair that he resembles the insides of a brinjal. Apparently he likes a to fashion himself as Clay Aiken and that if you are real nice in his class he will give you a color photo of himself autographed…I am so impressed by his generosity. He sort of passed a slip of paper around so that everyonean fill in their name, and he was impressed by the diverslty of names in our class, with unique ones like Faith, Rich and Nash...which is me. He asked me what does Nash mean, and I had to be so stupid to tell him that it is of English origin and that it means 'adventurous'. SO Mr Brinjal had to use my name all over the place in the tutorial, call me Nashie, which I think is too close for comfort, and even tell other classes about it. Oh anyway he gave us enough personal information so that I can create an effigy of him and hex him to his pants. Blearghh. Watch your step old man! Don't piss me off.

Not that he is not a nice man...but he needn't have done what he did. Oh well...I gues some people are just like that and you have to tolerate them...

Nash

"White Houses"

Crashed on the floor when I moved in
This little bungalow with some strange new friends
Stay up too late, and I'm too thin
We promise each other it's til the end
Now we're spinning empty bottles
It's the five of us
With pretty eyed boys girls die to trust
I can't resist the day
No, I can't resist the day

Jenny screams out and it's no pose
'Cause when she dances she goes and goes
Beer through the nose on an inside joke
I'm so excited, I haven't spoken
And she's so pretty, and she's so sure
Maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her
The summer's all in bloom
The summer is ending soon

It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses

Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he said
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
I sneak into his car's cracked leather seat
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat
Boy, we're going way too fast
It's all too sweet to last

It's alright
And I put myself in his hands
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
Love, or something ignites in my veins
And I pray it never fades in white houses

My first time, hard to explain
Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain
On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think
He's my first mistake

Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been
So I go, and I will not be back here again
I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses
I lie, put my injuries all in the dust
In my heart is the five of us
In white houses

And you, maybe you'll remember me
What I gave is yours to keep

A very meaningful song...not as shallow as it seems! Do take some time to interpret...its worth the time...

Nash

All the insanity begins tomorrow!

Tomorrow marks the shifting in the phase from Secondary School life to official JC life and as I sit here in front of the computer I await this change with anxiety tinged with a bit of excitement. Of course, change is not always good, but the transaction is one that I await eagerly. Right now I am still confused in which CCA should I turn to...having no musical background puts me at a disadvantage in joining musical CCAs. I still remember how that Chorale guy gave me the face when I revealed this dirty secret---he was giving me the 'rejected trash' look. I am not going to forget that for a long long time. Now my only chance is that I can get into the Jazz band by vocals, but as said before...I think it really is a slim chance.

I guess from my CCA background I should go to some CCA like ODAC...but I heard that ODAC is physically intensive and takes up a lot of time...am I able to juggle it with my homework and my revision? I don't want to fall asleep during revision or something like that! I wonder how do Sports people in Secondary School cope...I may not have the will to push myself hard enough. Bleaarghh...if only I had Ironwill or something like that. I think I'll most probably end up in Interact Club or some other thing like that...who knows where God would put me? I just hope that I participate actively in it and give all my best to its cause, and that is all I wish for.

"I Turn To You"

When I'm lost in the rain,
In your eyes I know I'll find the light
To light my way.
And when I'm scared,
And losing ground,
When my world is going crazy,
You can turn it all around.
And when I'm down you're there
- pushing me to the top.
You're always there,
giving me all you've got.

For a shield from the storm,
For a friend, for a love
to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on
For everything you do,
for everything that's true
I turn to you.

When I lose the will to win,
I just reach for you and
I can reach the sky again.
I can do anything
'Cause your love is so amazing,
'Cause your love inspires me.
And when I need a friend,
You're always on my side
Giving me faith
taking me through the night

For a shield from the storm,
For a friend, for a love
to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on
For everything you do,
for everything that's true
I turn to you.

For the arms to be my shelter
through all the rain,
For truth that will never change,
For someone to lean on,
For a heart I can rely on through anything,
For that one who I can run to...

For a shield from the storm,
For a friend, for a love
to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you
For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on
For everything you do,
for everything that's true
I turn to you.

For a shield from the storm,
For a friend, for a love
to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on
For everything you do,
for everything that's true
I turn to you.
I turn to you...

God, I turn to You.

Nash

Sometimes I just forget myself. Sometimes I just let my guards down. Sometimes I just walk in Flesh and not in Spirit. God help me...especially when I can't help myself right now.

I popped to OG dinner today...we were supposed to go for a movie, but we found out that all the movies that we have not watched are not available (either they have already started or that they are fully booked). With that stroke of bad luck, we all trudged to HMV, where I enjoyed myself immensely by listenly to all the free music (yeah I know that is cheapo and all), and I found delights in songs like 'I don't want to miss a thing' by Aerosmith, 'Because you loved me' by Celine Dion, 'Unbreak my heart' by Tony Braxton and even 'I turn to you' by Christina Aguilera. Then I listened to the album of Phantom of the Opera and felt an urge to buy it, but I guess I have to save up...so I proceeded to the second floor and indulged in hard rock and pop, whereafter I was described by Bernice as 'angsty'. Who isn't to some extent? Of course, I got to experience Evanescence's 'Nobody's Home', and I must say that I was very very impressed. Another urge to spend my money...but then again, I guess the money should be spent elsewhere instead. I spent approximately another half and hour in the top floor, where I planted myself in front of the listening station and listened to Mandopop and classical music. Enjoyed the whole experience, but I guess others were just loitering around, desperately hoping for something interesting to do.

This lasted until dinnertime, when initially we decided to go to Fish and Co., where my knees start going wobbly when I saw the price (and I mean it literally) and Shawn and Eunice met up with us. My first boo boo of the day...I asked them how come they were together. I am always so blunt with my words...Shawn gave me a stare that was so unnerving (I still remember all his comments when I played Chinese Chess with him that day; they are hard to forget) that I wanted to apologize, but I thought the better of it and kept all words to myself. I'm ever so sorry...but I just can't bring it out of my mouth. I thought he looked pretty pissed anyway. All the way from Fish and Co. to pizza Hut I didn't talk at all, and I'm so thankful that everyone just ignored my presence because I was pretty much out then.

Turns out that most of the places are pretty much full house, so we decided to pop to Thai Express. I ordered the Phon Phuat Shu Kari, which translates to Soft Shell Crab In Curry, and it was pretty delicious! Just when I was starting to enjoy my dinner, it easily became the worst part of the whole trip, because I just killed myself. God in this imperfect world with all our misforgivings, we all need a little humour in our lives so that substantiality is not a reminder nor testimonial to the problems in life. Oh God...that was the worst advice that I had ever heard. I tried to inject a little humour into the conversation...and the results were disastrous. Thank God they laughed...I would have died on the spot if it sounded like a joke from Mozzie, but the bluntness that exuded from me was ticklish to them. The frankness in my attitude, though successful, just about was a double edged sword, and I impaled myself with it. Now to everyone I am crude, crass, inane, and just about everything. i constantly forget that I am in a mixed school now, and some things that I say can get me into serious trouble. God please I beg you...I don't want to be like this anymore. I'm so thankful that I can make other shappy, but God, I'm just killing myself simultaneously. Help me, because I really can't help myself.

We sort of went to Carrefour afterwards to get ice-cream and all and this time I toltally went shut off. I was just singing to myself and lost in my world, a complete cloister from the world outside. We played Dare or Dare, and somehow or another I was the one that got the number...just a perfect round off to the day. By that time I had lost all interest to anyone, anything...I'm just so sorry to be a spoilsport for not carrying out the Dare...I was just so conscious of myself that I try not to be a social suicide anymore. I went home early...I just couldn't stand it anymore anyway.

God, please just help me. I desperately need someone to drag me out now...

I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing

I could stay awake just to hear you breathin'
Watch you smile while you are sleepin'
While you're far away and dreamin'
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Lying close to you feelin' your heart beatin'
And I wonder what you're dreamin'
Wonderin' if it's me you're seein'
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

And I don't wanna miss one smile
And I don't wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
Cause I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah
I don't wanna miss a thing

 

For a lack of better things to do, and still suffering from the cooties of Orientation Withdrawal Symptom, I have come to blog again...maybe to sieve out the excess thoughts inside my head...whatever the case, boredom is impinging into my life and my personal motto is to do something constructive and meaningful so that you will never plunge into atrophy (depends how you set the foundation for meaning then).

'Nash, are you there?'

When the mind is restless, it tends to wander. When the mind is forlorn, and instead of indulgent on what is past and over, it tends to search for things to preoccupy itself. I confess that I am indeed suffering from a particularly bad case of Orientation Withdrawal Symptom. So yes, I went to the RJC website and looked at the various CCAs they were offering on the cover of finding 'important' things to do. Well apparently I want to join everything! That is of course, I am eligibel to join anything...they might just as well dump you in some rotten place if you are not eligible for any, is it?There are so many fascinating things to do out there, and here are some of my favourite choices:

1. Chess Club...I've always had a weakness for International Chess, so I would love to join for the sake of playing against people and cracking my brains over 64 squares and 32 pieces...and there is Weiqi too, which means there I would find the rare folks that indulge in a good game of Weiqi like I do instead of against the computer.

2. Creative Writing Club...Another great choice simply for the reason that I love to write! After the completion of the novella 'The End of Days', I am currently engaged in the writing of 'Seven Endless'. But I must say that I would need a lot of discipline to write constantly and not occasionally, and with the impingment of homework upon my time, I guess its highly unlikely that I would join this Club.

3. Cybergaming and Design...Well, if it was only Cybergaming, I would have joined. God kows I would love an official excuse to play computer games everyday. But well, for a computer illiterate like me, I guess Design is completely out. So adios, amigo.

4. Photographic Society...I have a secret thing for cameras and the gadgets, thats why I love to do the photos to Moor House. It just feels so good capturing the moment and immortalising them...so maybe I would join the Photography Club. But apparently the members are all nerds...so I must think twice. I know its wrong to judge...but one has to confine within the savoir faire to survive. Bleargh.

5. Raffles Chorale...I always love to sign, and singing is my biggest passion! Problem is I don't know whether they will accept, as I have no singing background at all, and that they say the conductor is a real horrid person, plus the choir only sings stuffy songs. So...maybe not.

6. Raffles Dance Troupe...AAHHH...my new found passion. I didn't know that I like to dance as well...but I guess I don't really dance well. I think Dance King is conferred just for my passion and not for my skill...haha! But it is definitely one of my top choices.

7. Raffles Players...Well, Bernice wanted me to join Drama Feste, and actually I am thinking why not? Quite a few people have asked me before, and I have always rejected because I think I am not ready. This time I guess I am. But full time commit to Raffles Players? Have to think it through.

8. Raffles Jazz Band...This may be it. They do not only do jazz apparently, but also all kinds of music. Pop, rock, they do cool music, and I'd love to sing them all. Heard they are accepting singers...am I good enough to join? Time will tell.

9. Raffles Interact...This is one group that my Mum supports fully. I don't mind...why not go out and help some people and touch their lives? Give their life meaning, as you do yourself. Meeting the people out there...I'd love to join it as well. Another high possibility CCA.

10. Fencing...My long time dream. Combining strength and grace and discipline, Fencing will be another top choice...just that I heard the whole thing is very expensive. It will cost a bomb and for poor families like mine it will be a distant dream.

11. ODAC... As all uniform group people goes, ODAC is another top choice for my CCA. I would rather join sea then land, because I love sea sports like canoeing. But I'm afraid that it is too time consuming and I might go home wrecked and tired. So this is another CCA I must consider carefully.

So many CCas that i want to join, yet there is so little room for all. Haha...my life is always a predicament...maybe I should choose the Road not Taken. Living in, living in a new day...just the wanderings of a lost mind.