I am extremely tired today…I guess the academic school life has taken its toll on me. Right now my mind is an affliction and my body feels like it is 70 years old instead of 17. God…even taking an afternoon nap did not help salvage this wreck from its state. So yes, I spent today popping my neck and stretching my arms, trying to work the kinks in this premature cadaver.

As usual, I am rambling aimlessly with no specific intent in my mind. What am I trying to prove? Nothing. But even nothing is something. Everything must be something. No one seems to understand that anymore. But never mind. I still remember that free verse poem I wrote that day when some others are crafting out the DF script (emphasis: trying). Not that it matters to me…I was just sitting by myself, doodling some random thoughts onto paper, putting substantiality into intangibility. And though you all are still with me, I’ve been alone all the while. Whatever. Random thoughts. Sinking into depression…and as Moses said, I shouldn’t let my blog become depression center. 

My oldest friends are becoming distant…some say that they don’t know what to feel when arranging for a reunion. Some people get caught up with their new acquaintances that they forget the old ones. Are they discarded like unwanted pieces of trash? I have no answers…I don’t pretend in the slightest that I know them. So much for the saying, ‘Time will tell’ Quoted form Bernice, ‘…hyperbolic nostalgia…’ Sharp, but true. More often then not we tend to exaggerate the memories of old bonds, yet how often do we really contemplate their worth? Silence. That of pressurized good breeding. As I sit alone tonight, I wish that you people were back by my side. Sam Jo, Alan, Cheng Chai, Jonathan, Zheng Yi, Glen, Jared and even Ryan Su to some extent. I miss you people. Please don’t make your exodus from my life.

So…once again I am feeling cheated. I put my name down for the UN Conference but I didn’t get called! Why is it that these things are happening to me? Sam Jo said, ‘Anyway Its no point, I don’t think you can match up to those people. They are either top debaters or have prior experience and excellent grasp of current affairs.’ Ah…blunt and straightforward. I can’t say that I am not affected by these words. Who gave them the experience in the first place? Someone who had more experience than them. Does it mean that I don’t talk I don’t have an idea of what’s happening around the world?  Silence does not measure up to ignorance. Never mind. I’ve sworn to rise above these petty issues. Goodbye to you, the Kim Kyung Ah part of me. If you can’t draw the parallel, never mind. It’s perfectly normal.

Running in a hamster wheel, with no end in sight, no purpose in Life. Sigh…how come I’m taking Moses’s path? Someone pull me out.